Dear Entrepreneur, Doer, Leader,
When you are working hard to achieve your dream it is easy to find yourself living in the day to day motion of hustling. You have those days where you don't tell anyone how you really feel. I know because I've had them. The days you want to quit. The days you think, gosh I'd rather work for someone else. I could have a salary - getting paid for my strengths and not reminded of my weaknesses. Those are hard days. Really hard days. You wonder to yourself, what am I doing, why am I doing this, is this a waste? Am I pouring my heart into something that may never become the vision I hope to see it evolve into? You wonder those things when you feel like a tiny blip on the radar and you haven't paid yourself in 3 years. Your home life is stressed, your work is stressed, and you are stressed. Stress stress stress blah.
This post isn't to fill your heart up with fluff... it's to say. I've been there, I am there. It's to say - yah what you are feeling is real and no you aren't alone.
I have come to the realization that you need to acknowledge when you are exhausted, drained, and tired - It's easy to get caught up in the motions of doing going doing and going.
Here is what will happen if you don't refuel. You'll be pouring yourself into your team, your finances, your friends and then your left exhausted every day sitting on the couch at 10pm watching one of your guilty pleasure shows because you honestly don't want to face the fear of pouring your heart into something that you could potentially fail at. You read articles on the depressed entrepreneur and think "that's me" and yet you don't know how to get out of it.
Well, I had an opportunity to attend Leadercast for the first time and LOVED it. I am so thankful conferences like this exist and I am even more thankful for the people that thought it's important to provide healthy content for leaders. It actually made me very aware that I am thirsty and have been operating out of a dry place for some time now.
Here are some notes I took and thoughts I have:
"Do not allow your calendar to conspire against you." - Andy Stanley
Are you an entrepreneur dealing with major anxiety?
TWO THINGS YOU NEED TO GET - A HOBBY AND FREE TIME! Just say no to things. People are demanding your time. Texting, emailing, facebooking, calling, DMing... You have to for the sake of your energy and creativity say no and develop boundaries. A dry and empty leader can't lead.
"Bravery is not a solo sport." - Rorke Denver
Delegate and learn to trust your team. When you started your company it was just you but now in order to grow a team must be developed. Don't let the mentality in your company be: "you are working for me". Let them know they can take on ownership and with out their talent and freedom your company can't grow. You can't reach your goal and vision with out them!
One of my friends and mentor told me - When you wake up, think "what are the things I can delegate today".
"Lean into pain for pain is a growth opportunity for you and your team" - Rorke Denver
I've been avoiding pain. I've tried to handle pain and tension of growth on my own instead of with my team and I've learned I also have no margin to allow growth which is why I am fearful of pain. It would be one more thing I have to "deal" with and you never want to add more to your plate when your tired.
"Focus on strengths and quit obsessing over weaknesses for you start to live out of them when you obsess over them."
- Bill Mcdermott
Welp that quote slapped me over the head. I started living my life out of feeling alone, drowning in my weaknesses and constantly wondering "how?".
A close friend and mentor said to me last Friday: You are growing into the influence God has given you.
When he said that it was like the closing to the notes I took and I realized that with growth comes pain. I need to lean into that pain and not run. I've been running because I'm terrified of failure and I am terrified of letting go of control. However the "control" I think I had is me running my wheels in one place and not allowing me to move forward.
So Here are some things I am doing - do them with me:
- Decide your work hours and stick to them. Create a habit and rhythm! Be disciplined in your calendar.
- Get to the office early and delegate then you can look at what you have to do with a clearer mind.
- Define the amount of time you need through out the day to process your meetings and mark that in your calendar. Schedule margin.
- Decide who your core people are that are priority in your life. When you define that, it is easier to say no to others that demand your time.
- Find a hobby. Find some sort of enjoyment outside of your work. Mine is crossword puzzles and learning to ride a motorcycle. I look forward to getting off work now instead of wanting to work all hours of the night.
- Define the ways of contact. You can reach me at my email or phone. Not insta, not twitter, and not facebook.
- Pay yourself. When you are building a company your profit goes into the overhead, employees, and new product but it's so important to pay yourself. To be honest... I've taken 4 pay checks in 3 years and it has worn on my self-worth in the company. SO Even if it's $200 a month. Do it.
So here is to you entrepreneur, doer, leader,
You were called to lead and whether your company or organization will fly or fall, you have to think it's not because you were scared to grow and learn. Give it your all, while trusting your team, refueling yourself, and creating margin to breathe and live a happy life.